“Yea, sure. Let me see what I can move around,” I said and hung up the phone.
I was standing on a street corner, waiting for my Uber to take me to the next meeting. I had criss-crossed the city of Denver three times and it wasn’t even noon.
Mindless. I had said YES out of habit, mindlessly.
I’m a recovering chronic over-doer. I like to live by the improvisation rule YES AND! (always be adding to the idea), but I forget to say yes to myself.
Instead, I was saying YES to everyone around me that asked something of me.
- Meet you at St. Mark’s for coffee? Sure.
- A pre-dinner drink? Yes, I can squeeze that in, if my meeting prior doesn’t run over.
- Come by the office? Yep. I can do that.
This summer while bring SoulSpeak on the road, I found myself on the YES slope and sliding down fast towards the bottom of my metaphorical cup – the bottom where I would be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.
I know this slope intimately. I play out this pattern of saying YES externally, and forget to say YES internally, literally forgetting to put my oxygen mask on first.
When I’m traveling, I skip my YES for the down time that I needed to recharge. I sleep through my YES to structure’s I’ve put in my life because that I know they help me produce the best work. I chat over morning coffee instead of saying YES to the grounding practices that keep me calm and let me release anxiety that creeps up.
I made structure that supports. These are my must-haves and signs of self-love that leave me free to connect with the wild wonderful people around me, no matter where I am:
- Write morning pages every morning, in silence with tea or coffee.
- At home, I’ve made a ritual of mornings. I get to dream + scheme or whine + complain until it’s out of me. I need it. It’s the way I give to myself. I allow myself to feel without wondering what it means about me. I pour out my cranky through the pages back to piece. I write out my dreams. There is no talking to anyone until after I’ve written.
- Pack crystals or a reminder of magic.
- Crystals were over my woo-woo line until recently. Now, they go in my toiletries, as essential as face lotion. Crystals remind me of the travel magic that exists when you cross time zones and ride through the air. I have to believe in magic. Packing a few rocks that hold my intentions for the trip remind me to leave a bit of room for magic and to be open to people and places that are crossing my path. The thing about traveling is that you are out of your routine and our minds open to possibility when we are out of the routine. You never know exactly who you will meet or who might cross your path.
- Set work hours + play hours
- Part of the reason that I created this life was to visit with people that I love AND do work that I love. I love both things, mostly… (website stuff really bores the sh*t outta me, but essential so I do it). In order to be present with whatever I’m doing, I need work AND play hours. If I’m coaching and seeing clients, then I’m totally present with them. When I’m done, then I can play. It sounds simple, but I found myself mixing friend lunches into my work day and knocking off to dos that really needed doing. Then they would hang over my head while I tried to enjoy my friend.
- Set my number of external YES’s so that I can say YES to self.
- I found that the more I was trying to pack in, I was saying a reactive yes. There’s a difference between reactive + intentional. Old habits die hard. For me, that resides in the 1-3 external things a day. Working counts as one thing. If I’m in my work hours, then I have 2 things left that I can do. That’s MY limit, it’s where I’ve found I function best.
- Get a room with a comfy bed and a door.
- I love play and presence. I also need a place to go and be. I need to be able to hear myself in the quiet. I need to be able to shut off and make zero facial expressions. The right amount of sleep is crucial for me. Closing a door allows me to feel like I can be with myself without having to be “on.”
We started a super fun thread about this in my on what we need when we travel. And sisters, do you have some WISDOM HERE!
I’m learning and relearning how to best take care of myself and I want to hear your wisdom.
What are your secrets? Share them with us !
Love + wild adventures!
JESS
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