12 Things to Remember on Your Way to the Top

The first three times I tried to go “hiking”, I quit.

The first time, it started raining. What’s point of being outside when it’s raining?

The next two times I hiked, I was bored and annoyed before I hit the top. This is taking too long, I thought. Why do people even think this is fun?

My mental whining got so loud, even I couldn’t take it anymore. I went back down the mountain and stopped at a pub for burgers and beers.

But something niggled at me. It’s not that hard to walk up. It didn’t seem to take a ton of expertise or perfection. Yet, even WALKING UP was frustrating me and something inside me started clamoring. I wanted to finish a hike. I wanted to enjoy the view from the top. And most of all, I didn’t want the voice inside my head to nag or freak me out from finishing something I set out to do.

I went back to hikes I had given up on and hiked to the top. That view was worth every step. The fact that I could rest at the top brought me joy — hard work followed by an immediate reward. I dig that.

What was more, I suddenly had a consciousness that I felt these feelings all the time. Right before getting to the finish line of any project, I’d start grumbling or totally freak out and want to back out. That shiz was holding me up in my career, my relationships, and my creativity. It was sucking me dry and it felt terrible.

Last week, I took Mr. Efficient (my ever-loving boyfriend) hiking off the Oregon Coast. He loves hiking as much as an extrovert loves being locked in an office all day with no one to talk to. This particular hike was a couple of miles, straight up. Whoops.

As we’re walking, huffing, (definitely not holding conversation because it’s hard to talk and breath at the same time), he says “Wouldn’t it be nice if the top was just right in front of us?”

I laughed. Rather, I laugh-coughed, because breathing was a priority AND the sentiment was true. Yes, part of me wanted to know exactly what was at the top and how far was it and by when would we get there.

I laughed because a lot has changed for me here. Hiking changed my need to know how long it was to the top. I looked for ways to enjoy the experience AND to feel my annoyance creep up and be able to let it go. Hiking helped me develop a relationship with the insane desire to know what EXACTLY was coming around the bend.

I know a lot of women that just want to get to the top already. We’re wired for it. But you can’t rush the top. You’ve got to keep walking to get there.

If you’re right before the top, keep going.

Here’s a few things to remember when you’re in that space right before the top:

1. Focus on your breathing. Am I breathing? Turns out not breathing when you’re nervous, annoyed, or pushing too hard can actually slow you down. Keep breathing, ya’ll.
2. Choose to see with eyes of wonder. Nature does some badass things. Look around you and use your senses to get an embodied experience of what you’re doing. Sitting at a computer? No problem. Take a moment to tune in to your body, notice the colors around you, listen to the sounds of life happening.
3. Hydrate. Whether you’re outside or you’re plugging away on your computer, fluids are essential and flush out the toxins.
4. Have a reward for yourself at the end. I will work for views and/or a pedicure. I will go balls to the wall if I know that I can rest at the end (That’s why savasana was invented, right?!).
5. Say Thank you. On repeat. Thank you for the trees. The wind. Nature’s forces that are bigger than me. Or just thank you for the magic of the World Wide Web. We’re connected.
6. Connect. Connecting to yourself is hecka important here. Asking yourself what you’re actually feeling goes a long way to self-trust and continuing.
7. Feel free to go slow. I once watched a dad take his six year old son up 14,000 feet. “Remember what we talked about,” he said. “Slow and steady will get us there.” They made it up the rock scramble, easily, and slowly.
8. Look down. Sometimes looking up at the top brings stress and heartache that we’re not there yet. If that’s the case, drop your gaze. Focus on your shoes, the ground and just the next step.
9. Practice non-attachment. The view might not be perfect when you get to the top and you might not make it by the time you initially planned. Practice letting go of those requirements and sinking into the joy of the moment.
10. Remind yourself of your strength. When I’m hiking it’s about my quads and my ankles (haven’t rolled one yet… KNOCK ON WOOD, DEAR GOD, KNOCK ON WOOD). When I’m writing, it’s about speaking my truth. I will repeat to myself, “I am strong.”
11. Give it up. Paulo Coelho says that a warrior of light drops to his knees and surrenders to a Higher Up when he’s close to achieving his dreams. Sometimes the only way through the demons of doubt, is an act of faith.
12. Pause often. As my dear friend Rachael Maddox says, “We slow down to get aligned to speed up.” Pausing, listening, resting, before heading back out is key.

This is a reminder that you might be close to the top. The new job, paying off all of your debt, meeting your next heart throb, that thing is up there, but you can’t always determine just how close or far you are.

You have to take another step and another. It’s ok if you need a rest.
You’ve got this… and the view? The view is going to be worth it.

Love,

JESS