A client fell down the steps a few weeks ago, in the icy DC weather. It knocked her flat on her ass. The sudden rush of physical pain opened the door for all the family drama + work stress to come pouring through. She said it was like the Hoover dam breaking.
Oprah calls that being “knocked in the head by a spiritual 2×4”.
Spiritual 2x4s make us take a hard look at our reality + re-examine our lives. Often, we struggle when we get bopped on the head, thinking we should be doing it differently or that we made a mistake somewhere. We panic. No need for that, love.
Baby, this is the landscape of your life. You can’t escape it. So when you get knocked by the proverbial 2×4, you might as well pause and take a look around. You got yourself here. You’re gonna get yourself out of here, too. Can you find the beauty in this moment?
I don’t mean the cheesy, I’m so grateful horseshit that we try to use to fake it ’til we make it. When it sucks, sometimes, you just gotta own that it kinda sucks right now.
But in these moments, take time to pause. Time to slow down. Time to let go AND please, take a look around.
The hardest thing about being in your 20s or any time you experience something totally new in life is that you don’t REALIZE that this is your landscape YET. You’ll go through a painful breakup or a friend breakup or a cross country move. Your emotions will be everywhere as you process through confusion, grief, guilt etc. Finally, the dust settles and you’ll feel peace again.
A year passes, if you’re lucky you’ll have three calm years (yeah right!). Suddenly, you’ve lost a bestie or racked up debt again.
Damnit. I thought I learned this. Didn’t I go through enough last time? WHY AM I HERE AGAIN?!!!
You’ve been here before and you will be back through. But next time, you will have more tools for the job.
And the time after, it’s not the tools you need, but the support and so you’ll find someone to lean on. The time after, there might be a general store to get stocked up on supplies. Then next time, you will be stronger than all the times that came before.
Until the last time when you will calmly walk through.
Ah… yes. I’ve been here before. I remember how this felt. I recall the tension of the deep end + walking blind through this next part, you’ll think.
Your soul will have a moment of knowing. And this time, you won’t fight the darkness… you’ll let your body, your heart, and your spirit heal. You’ll pause in deep gratitude for all that you’ve learned. You’ll still cry. You’ll still RAGE when you trip over that god forsaken rock and bust your knee (or maybe this time, it’s your back).
But you’ll remember : I’ve been here before.
And so you’ll be vigilant. You’ll be watching for the next tool, the next teacher, the next soulmate to appear in this land so that you can go through again.
Learning your landscape is learning your life. It’s learning trust. It’s learning strength. It’s learning how to truly own your journey + your power.
If you’re in the thick: Pause a minute. What are the tools you have, the resources you have gathered, the community that is around. And if they are not present yet, ask… what is here for me this time?
Don’t be afraid to rest. Don’t be afraid to pause. There is no shame in stopping. We must rejuvenate before we can walk again. We must jog before we can sprint.
The journey ain’t always pretty. We all know it. It’s why I created SoulSpeak: A Gathering Where Women Speak Truth. This is a place to be heard no matter where you are in your journey.
Join us on March 13 at 4pm. For more details, check out this link. To register, RSVP using this link. Pass it on, to a sister that has some truth to tell.
Big love + bold laughter!
JESS
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